”And besides, her “dirty bush spot” is exactly where I wanted to be.So she drags me back into her bushes, which by the way, is like a mini- outdoors Apartment with all her stuff, little second-hand shelves and trinkets, stacks of cat-food cans, weird voodoo snow-globes, and incense – all that kitschy, knick-knack stuff that you’d expect a homeless LA lady to have was strewn about. Haha (I actually did think this lady was kinda cute and sweet in a dirty, homeless person sort of way.)Next thing I know, she pulls out a dirty-pink, semi-opaque Double-ended Dildo with built-in battery compartment and Vibrator option. She starts waving it around while its buzzing and she’s hopping from foot-to-foot saying “it’s my happy Stick! Its my happy Stick!” (honest to god, I started laughing. Haha!)Anyway, cut to the chase, I asked her did she want me to celebrate with her?//Sex with bag-Lady//Let me start off by saying, I used my lucky condom which I always keep tucked down into the sock of my. ”I chuckled again.“Are they looking for me to be the bad guy here? What did they say?”“Mom One said that it was OK if you agreed. Mom Two wasn’t sure it was a good idea.”Mom One was Jennifer. Mom Two was Josie. He’d come up with that shorthand when he’d started talking in complete sentences. One thing I knew for sure was that before I approved, I’d need to talk to Tanya or Dima about this, as well as place a call to St. Petersburg to talk with Vanya as well.“What I think is that you are asking the daughter of a former Soviet diplomat who is now a highly respected professor of International Relations, and of a retired General Colonel of the Russian Army, to live with you. She’s also the granddaughter of a member of the Russian Parliament! I think I’m the LEAST of your worries!”“Tanya Ivanovna told Larisa that it’s up to her, because she thought I was some word that sounds like culture.”“«культурный»,” I chuckled. “You never did follow through with learning Russian. You might regret.
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